Every day I fight. I fight to get out of bed. I fight to love myself. I fight to leave the house. I fight to socialize. I fight for happiness. I fight to exist.
If you are struggling, know that you are not alone. If you are struggling, it is not weak of you to seek help outside of yourself. Talk to a friend, a family member, a co-worker, your doctor, your therapist, me.
I know how it feels to have your mind ripped in half – to feel like you’re losing control – as well as the mental and physical exhaustion that comes with the inner turmoil taking over every waking thought. I know what it feels like to wake up unable to breathe – to feel like you’re drowning over and over again, unable to catch you’re breath, when in fact, you’re safe and in the comfort of your own home. I know what it feels like to spend endless nights unable to sleep at all, consumed by racing thoughts of what needs to be done, what you haven’t accomplished, what isn’t in the right place, conversations that didn’t play out the way you wanted, what you should have said, could have said, what could happen tomorrow. I know how it feels to be so paralyzed with fear of what could be, that you can’t even bring yourself to start your day.
And then one day I woke up. I realized that I was worth more than the depression, anxiety and OCD led me to believe. It had wormed it’s way so slowly in to my life that I almost hadn’t even noticed it was there, until suddenly, it had consumed me in full. I decided to fight back. I decided that while mental illness may be a part of me, it does NOT define who I am. So I took a leap of faith and got help. It was terrifying and embarrassing to share my most inner thoughts and fears, but it was one of the best things I ever did for ME.
My path to wellness may not be the one that’s right for you, but healing begins with accepting yourself. It begins with seeking help. It begins with breaking that barrier and starting the conversation. YOU are worth it.